duderus

Seeing as my life is an endless source of fascination (… hey, my MOM thinks I’m cool…), allow me to tell you what’s new, itemizing each topic in ALL! CAPS!

Thing 1: THE BATCHELOR!

… is over. This is bittersweet for me. Sweet = GRAND RAPIDS WINS. Also sweet = Monday nights are now free to do other things, which just so happens to be watching other TV shows, but whatever. It feels like progress. The bitter = I don’t get to see Captain McPrematurekiss roll around awkwardly on the beach with his son (OH WAIT, DID YOU KNOW JASON HAS A SON?? BECAUSE HE DOES. HAVE ONE. A SON. HIS NAME IS TY. OH, THAT’S NOT CLEAR ENOUGH YET? SHALL WE REPEAT THAT? LET’S REPEAT THAT. JASON. SON. YOU CAN’T SPELL JASON WITHOUT SON) or lean in at random times to stop a girl mid-sentence with a big, unsolicited tonguey exploration. She’s all chatting away about some random thing, like, “…and I just, like, feel SAD when i see u kiss the other girls, cuz, like, I’m all like, whaaaaaat - you just kissed ME, lulz, oh and i think your son is kinda weir–” BAM! Jason leans in and just lays one on her. Bizarre. I used to think it was just a case of unfortunate editing, but I’ve now come to the conclusion that he’s weird.

Does that kid kinda look like a bat to anyone else?? Like a bat mixed with Yoda. Huh.

Thing 2: FISH!

I got my tank going again, and was talked out of going the standard goldfish route again. I’m spicing things up a bit with some African Cichlids and 2 Leopard Cory Cats (or, at least, I think that’s what they are). Meijers doesn’t have the best/most precise labeling system on their tanks, methinks. Just as long as it doesn’t grow into a shark with FRIGGIN LASER BEAMS, I guess I don’t care so much what it is. Oh, and pardon the horrible picture up there. I tried to get them to set still for a second and smile, but they just wouldn’t listen. Little terrors. Even with the promise of ice cream after wards, if they behaved. What can you do. Guess I’ll be eating that Moosetracks all by mySELF you little jerks. Yeah… who’s swimming still NOW. Oh… don’t look at me with that face… you know I can’t say no to that face. Oh alright, here you go * plops ice cream in water, fish summarily die *

And if you’re wondering if one of the fish will be called Mr. Splashy Pants, the answer is yes.

Thing 3: CAR!

So far, so good with the VW. It’s actually in the shop right now, getting some work done that I knew would need to get done. But hopefully once it’s back on the road, it’ll treat me well for years to come.

Hopefully.

And with that… I’m off like a dirty shirt.