Bugs on a DS!
First, there were snakes on a plane. And now, we’ve got bugs on a DS!! Will the insanity never end?!?!
Let’s back this up a minute…
As you now know, I am the proud owner of a new Nintendo DS Lite (see previous post, if more explanation is needed). And as happy as I am with this thing, there’s something that’s kinda troubling about it. Quite simply: its got bugs! And I’m not talking the electronic malfunction, restarting-out-of-the-blue, glitches in the screen tecno kinds of bugs. Nope, I’m talking the real deal, here — as in, actual, real, pitter-pattering across the screen critters. It’s got to be one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen…
Backing up even further…
One of the first times I got a chance to sit down and play with my new DS, I was paying close attention to the screens, looking for defects. In reading up on the system, I’d encountered quite a few instances of people having dead pixels on their new DS Lites. So, I was ensuring that all my pixels were alive in well…
Well, at first, everything looked fine; the screens were bright and blemish-free. Until, during one leisurely lap in Mario Kart DS, I noticed — sure enough — there was a pixel not lighting up. Grayed out. Putting the game on pause, I held the screen up closer to my face to get a better view. And that’s when I noticed the dead pixel move. Starting out in the corner, this magical little “dead pixel” moved — somewhat erratically — diagonally across the screen. Odd. Shutting the DS’s power down, I held the system up to the light. And then I saw it: tiiiiiiiiiny little legs… maybe antennae - I’m not sure. This was no dead pixel, it was a bug!
At the time, this came as a relief: just a stupid bug and not a dead pixel after all! Great, then: a flick of the bug and a tap of the system’s power and I was back in Mario Karting heaven. Eventually, I got tired out, put the system down and walked away.
Well, the next day, I go to turn the DS on again, and pause when I notice some odd “dust” in the power switch’s slot. Moving in to quickly blow it out, I once again notice an odd movement. And sure enough, it was bugs again! Unfolding the system for further inspection, I find 5, maybe 6 more of these tiny — and I mean truly microscopic — critters making their way across the little system. And then it dawns on me: I’ve got a stinking bug infestation in my new gadget! How messed up is that? These little suckers were actually coming from within the DS. Teensy tiny little creatures, to whom my hands must seem like sky scrapers, making a little bug civilization within this piece of gadgetry.
So: Microsoft’s game systems have got random glitches and some overheating problems… but Nintendo? Oh, they’ve just got little bugs that will most likely lay eggs in your eyeballs after enough time packed in there; nothing to worry about Have fun kids!
And that’s pretty much where the story ends: I’ve still got the bugs. I have absolutely no idea how to get rid of them, other than smooshing them with the little “stylus” pen that came along with the system. Which is actually pretty funny, if you think about it: the DS is a handheld system built around this idea of touching. Every game utilizes this ability - pointing the little pen around to move, shoot, press, etc. And now, here I am, touching all over the place… squashing bugs like I was getting bonus points for it. As if playing a little mini-game outside the game. In a strange way - like some kinda freaky dream - it’s like the virtual world is slowly oozing into the real world. Creepy… and just a little bit awesome… but still, mostly, creepy.
N
June 27th, 2006 at 8:59 am
No, no, no, no, no, no. You need to return that thing. Those little bugs, now on your hand. You just scratched you eye, cause you’re sleepy, THEY ARE IN YOUR EYE. If you can barely see them on a pure white machine, think about how you can’t see them ALL OVER THE PLACE. No. no. Return. No.
June 27th, 2006 at 9:21 am
EEeeeewwww
June 27th, 2006 at 10:30 am
Yeah, I’m debating the return. I dunno… I’d like to think it’s not that big of a deal. Naturally, I know the bugs could probably escape (most likely already have…), but I guess I don’t care a whole lot. In my opinion, there’s plenty of bacteria and bugs and spiders and whatever else crawling all over us pretty much all the time… and this doesn’t really bother me. I am at one with nature, The Helge… you know that. So, yeah, as long as they don’t lay egg sacks in my retinas, I’m good.
Anne: but you LOVE bugs…
June 27th, 2006 at 11:27 am
dude, im debating weather or not i should be disgusted or amazed. I mean bugs…gross, but what if those japenese manufacturers are trying to take over the american youth, (and a selected few 23 year olds) by transplanting microscopic robot insects iniside the microchips of the DS. So that when played for more than 2 hours at a time crawl out of the seams of the DS and underneath your fingernails, where they set up a home base, and after time, gain control over your hands, taking all power away from you and claiming it for themselves. I mean think about it! If those Japenese geniuses are smart enough to design a handheld video game system with the same quality graphics that used to take a 3 pound machine, plus cartriges to display, they gotta be smart enough to design microscopic robots that can eventually take over the world!
…anyway those are my thoughts on the subject. we can talk about it later if you want.
June 27th, 2006 at 3:43 pm
Maybe you should return it, and consider getting one of these.
I think it’d look good in flower garden, right beside the little DS bugs now infesting your house. Heave ho.
June 28th, 2006 at 7:07 am
“The Man”: an insightful comment there. I think the bigger question really is: have I really been controlled by bugs all along? It seems one could make the case…
d.m.p.: that’s freaking funny…
June 28th, 2006 at 8:41 am
Yeah, return the thing. Or write a letter and ask for a refund. But in the meantime, take the darn thing apart and exterminate. And PS can I be there when you do that?
June 28th, 2006 at 9:33 am
Mizznary Bizzneth:
The more I think of it, the more I think that returning it wouldn’t work. I mean, how can I prove that the bugs weren’t there to begin with? They’d just have to take my word for it. And, uh, BestBuy - in my experience - is pretty stingy with these sorts of things anyways.
And then, I can just see it: I go up there and say, “Hey, this thing’s got BUGS, man!” and they’re all like, “Well fine, show us the bugs, yo” and I’m all like, “Okay… hang on a sec… they’re reeeeeally small… I can’t see any right now, but I swear they’re there… c’mooooonn bugs, run all over the screen like we practiced, kay? Dang… they’re not coming out… BUT YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME, THEY’RE THERE MAN!” And then men in white lab coats come and drag me away. And neither me nor my DS are ever heard from again. The end.
So yeah… I’ll probably just end up hanging on to it and hope this things solves itself.
June 28th, 2006 at 10:37 am
Nope. Don’t love bugs. Love cats, love flowers, love Andy. Bugs, not so much.
And HEY! None of that anti-gnome action here! That’s just cruel!
June 28th, 2006 at 11:03 am
yeah… that’s gross. bugs. what is this africa? seriously, could this be that the nate hibma house needs a good house cleaning? i think i have an extra sponge, mop, and ENDUST underneath my sink!
July 3rd, 2006 at 12:52 am
Nate, I hardly know you but I stumble on your site now and then. I had to share an idea I just had. It goes all the way back to the bug project from 4th grade science class. Seal that thing in an airtight container- or better yet- a vacuum. Bugs need air, right? This might take a while, depending on the size of the container you find, so to speed things up, you could add a cotton ball soaked in nail polish remover. I’m pretty sure this wouldn’t hurt the DS and it would kill those bugs darn fast. I seem to remember getting an awesome bug collection this way.
July 3rd, 2006 at 12:56 am
On second thought, nail polish remover is pretty nasty. I can’t guarantee it’s not going to eat away at the innards of your DS. Maybe put it in one of those vacuum food sealers. You know, the ones you see on Sunday morning infomercials.
July 3rd, 2006 at 12:59 am
… or so I’ve heard. It’s been so long since I haven’t been in church on a Sunday morning.
July 4th, 2006 at 9:40 am
Actually, I have been sealing it in a zip-loc bag for about a week now, and haven’t seen a single bug in that time… hopefully that did the trick.
July 4th, 2006 at 5:04 pm
Nope. Gross. 3 days.